


I did what? With who... or what?

by Dark_Labyrinth



Series: Heroes and their suits [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek Reboot, Star Trek XI
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Talking through Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 03:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Labyrinth/pseuds/Dark_Labyrinth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim isn't handling being brought back from the other side as well as everyone thinks he is. He finds comfort in the oddest places.  <br/>Warnings: Smut and a bit of rough-ish sex<br/>I thought it would be fun to throw in a bit of plot from Buffy and if you watched the series I’m sure you’ll catch it. I hope you like it and don’t mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I did what? With who... or what?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_physicist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_physicist/gifts).



The darkness in the room seemed to be closing in on him and Jim Kirk barely choked out the word “lights” before his cabin lit up. The nightmares since he had _died_ seemed to be growing in regularity. Though that wasn’t entirely accurate. The nightmare was being awake. It wasn’t fair to see it that way, but it was how he had felt. In the time he was medically dead he had lived years, or… he felt like he had. He was in what he could only assume; was heaven. Heaven. That word just being a thought in his head caused a grunted chuckle to rumble in his throat. 

His father had been there and guided him through the first moments of his realization that he was no longer alive. It had been painful. So much so that he had wept in his father’s arms like a child. He’d left so much undone, so much hanging in the balance and a lifetime of friendships he had yet to discover but knew (thanks to Spock Prime) were there. That too was not necessarily true. Spock was his friend and he had been there in his last moments. Kirk had been so afraid. He never thought he would have been so scared, but he was.

He had sat up in his bed, his coverlet pooled around his waist while he scrubbed at his eyes. The dreams were vivid and took more than a bit of time to recover. It was the reason he had only attempted sex twice. It wasn’t the sex he couldn’t do it was sleeping. He had damn near scared the girl to death when he woke up screaming. Not precisely the image he wanted to portray nor was it something that felt anywhere near normal. He’d tried something he had done a lot while at the academy; sex and leave. Never take them to your place. One beautiful young man and he found that while walking home, the darkness of the world would haunt him. 

After a few months he decided to stay on the ship while she was being repaired. His quarters were already fully functional and he appreciated the time with her. She was his after all. In his time on board he had started talking to The Enterprise. She listened, didn’t talk back, didn’t judge and didn’t offer sympathy. She was just what he needed. 

It was night and Gamma shift was not on duty because the ship was still being repaired. Scotty had said that it was going to be almost a full year before she was ready and truth was; Kirk needed that year. It was easier being on The Enterprise than in the world. It was what he needed for reality to over come the dream that was heaven. It took physical and mental effort to crawl from the bed. He had to force his mind to tell his body to move. _Slide left foot off the bed, followed by the right, use hands to push you to the edge, plant feet on the ground…_ Specific instructions for specific tasks. Sometimes once he got moving it became easier to just go about his life, other days it was more difficult. The current day was going to be difficult. 

Jim didn’t notice that he didn’t have to tell the ship’s computer to put his lights at fifty percent. They already were. Most days he would move about his cabin with the lights at fifty percent and when he left his cabin he would blink into the blinding light of the corridor as if walking out into a brightly lit afternoon. Other days he had screamed at the computer to lower the lights and would remember to gradually bring them back to one hundred percent. 

_Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.._ “Lights,” he said as he entered the bathroom behind the soft _swoosh_ that accompanied the sliding doors opening. He pushed down his boxers at the sound of the water starting in the shower. After relieving himself; Jim got into the shower. He stood under the perfect one hundred eighteen degree spray of water and started the slow chant to himself that reminded him he loved his life. _My path is set, though not in stone. I have things left to do in this world._ It wasn’t much but Spock prime had helped him come up with it. 

After an exceptionally long shower he was once again up before anyone arrived on the ship. There were a few, like him who were staying on board. Scotty, Spock, Bones, Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu of course. When Jim moved onto The Enterprise the others were quick to join him. What was going on with Chekov and Sulu? Jim could swear he had caught a few side long glances the two would share. He didn’t care so long as the crew could behave professionally and they were happy. All of them however, spent a good portion of their free time off-ship. All of them except Spock of course. 

The lights had slowly risen to seventy five percent without Jim being aware they were brightening. It was subtle and something no one would have noticed. No one except maybe; Spock. It took the better part of the morning before Jim realized it was Saturday and no one would be showing up. It was kind of nice when everyone was gone and he got to walk The Enterprise and talk to her without anyone happening upon them. So when he was alerted to someone at his door, he was given a bit of a start. 

There was only one being that could be at his door. “Come,” Jim called. 

He heard the _whoosh_ of the doors in the sitting room from his bedroom. “Hello, Spock.”

Spock’s eyebrow lifted. “How did you know it was me, Captain?” He asked the question before he could stop himself. He had learned not to ask the mundane or chance a dose of Kirk’s wit. He truly was not in the appropriate frame of mind to think correctly and edit his own more natural, intuitive nature. 

“I could smell you from here,” Jim said as he entered the sitting area to see his first officer in his uniform, standing erect in the middle of the room with his hands firmly clasped behind his back. 

“I was not aware that I omitted an odor. I apologize if it is offensive.” Spock’s monotone voice and matter of fact analogy of the comment made Jim smile. He didn’t mind this part of being alive. 

He clapped Spock on the arm and leaned close to take a whiff of his first officer. “Just like roses,” Kirk said and moved to the replicator. He touched the screen to bring up his list of favorite items. The ships computer had listed everything he liked in the order of which he ate them during the day. He liked some of the new adjustments to The Enterprise. 

“I fail to see how that is possible. Though I do not wish to enter into the discussion with you,” Spock said. He turned to watch Jim get a coffee from the replicator. “Nyota and Carol Marcus are having sex together.” 

Jim spit coffee all over the replicator. “What?!” He asked incredulously. 

“Do you realize that your lights are dimmed to seventy five per…” 

“What do you mean, having sex together?” Jim interrupted. 

Spock tilted his head just a bit to the right, took a few steps and stopped. He had no desired destination and did not know why he had taken the steps. “Nyota and Carol were engaged in coitus last night.” 

“Last night? How do you know it was last night?” Jim asked. His coffee cup now sat on the nearest table and he was using a moist cloth the ships computer had ejected from his replicator without asking for it to clean the coffee on his shirt. 

“I witnessed the event,” Spock decided to sit after the last addition. 

Jim had seen both women in their underwear and could just imagine the beauty of seeing the two women engaged in sex. “Really?” he asked with a wicked smirk on his face and slightly glossed eyes that were not seeing the room but the vision in his mind. 

Spock stood. “I realize now that coming here was not the right course of action.”

Jim moved to stop his first officer. He stood between him and the door. “Stop, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to let my imagination get the better of me.” 

“I will stay if you stop imagining Nyota without her clothing,” Spock said.

“Of course,” Jim said, his eyebrows pushing together to indicate his seriousness. “You okay?” he asked. This time a real note of concern laced his words. 

“Surprisingly, yes,” Spock said and turned to take his seat once again on the sofa. 

Jim went back to the replicator and when he pulled up the screen this time, a cup of Vulcan Tea was on the menu and he pushed that along with another coffee and took both back to the sofa to sit with Spock. He placed the drinks on the table and sat in the chair next to the sofa. 

“Really? Because I wouldn’t be okay if my girlfriend were…” The glazed look took over again and Jim shook his head to clear the rising images of the ladies sans apparel.

Spock took a deep breath and reached for the tea the Captain had brought. “Truly. I am fine, Captain. Things between Nyota and myself have not been the same since…” 

Kirk didn’t have to press. He knew exactly the moment that was in his first officer’s mind. Scotty had told him what had happened in Engineering when he died. The relationship he had been shown was developing in ways he hadn’t foreseen. The bond between himself and his first officer was not only growing rapidly, it felt more natural than any other relationship he had ever experienced.

“So, you’re single. Is this why you’re here on a Saturday in full uniform?” Kirk sipped his coffee and leaned back. He was in a white shirt and trousers. Not regulation and definitely not a uniform. 

“I am comfortable in my uniform just as I am in other clothing. It matters not to me which I wear,” Spock’s human emotions were ever present and took more and more practice to keep them in check. Losing Jim, watching him die… It had been more traumatic than the loss of his mother. Not because he cared for him more, but because he allowed the emotions through to the surface. The cost of allowing Jim to see how much he meant to him was causing him to have difficulties keeping his emotions in check. 

“As for why I am here, yes, I suppose it is because I have no prior engagements.” 

“Did you let them know you saw them?” Jim asked before leaning back in his chair. 

“I did make my presence known to them, yes. However I did not wait for any comment either might have had. Instead I simply went to my quarters and meditated.” Spock’s mind was jumbled and he had yet to reach a satisfactory meditation.

Kirk however found the information to be enough to wipe his mind of the problem of being alive. He wasn’t happy that his friends were possibly hurting one another, not at all. But something told him that this was the correct course of action for the both of them. He just wished he had been with Spock when he happened on Nyota and Carol. The sight, or... what he imagined the sight of the two of them would be, was etched in his mind and there was no way to undo it. 

“Have you spoken since?” 

“Shortly, this morning. I believe the separation is mutual. I cannot commit to Nyota, not the way that she deserves,” Spock took a deep breath and another sip of tea. He had explained his betrothal to Jim and they had discussed at length what was expected of him. He had even spoken with Spock Prime and tried to gleam some idea of whether or not he and T’Pring had married. Alas, there was nothing to be told. Or nothing Elder Spock was willing to share. Though Jim had let slip that when he had melded with Spock Prime; he had not seen a ceremony or wife. 

Jim nodded and they both finished their morning drink of preference before agreeing to meet on the bridge to go over some specs. Which left Jim with The Enterprise once more. 

“Pike told me that he thought I would be with you longer,” Jim chuckled and ran his hand along the ridge of the corridor as he walked down C Deck towards the Observation Lounge. “I was supposed to take care of you. I guess that so far, I have not done my job as well as I was meant to. I’m sorry for that. Things just haven’t gone quite as I thought they would.’

‘There were times I thought that I was doing the right thing and only proved that Pike was right. I do rush head first into situations with no regard for myself or my crew. Or you,” Jim said and slid his hand up the wall in a loving gesture. 

Jim stepped inside the officer’s observation room and moved to one of the windows that would normally look out onto an endless sea of stars and planets. At present all he saw was the hangar in which The Enterprise was docked. It was deserted and seemed eerily abstract. As if everything outside the ship was unreal and only within the walls of The Enterprise would reality ensue. 

Kirk’s fingers played along the sill of the window in an almost loving caress. “I dare you to do better,” he said softly in echo of the last thing Pike said to him while he was… dead. It was as if he was still forcing him to rise to the occasion, to do better and be better. As if he knew that Jim was going back. Jim’s head shook as if he could deny that he was in fact back. He didn’t want to be or at least he didn’t think he did ninety percent of the time. He wanted comfort, warmth, stress free and everything his heart desired. That’s what it had been like. It was calm and simple. There were things there he wanted and liked. Not to sound too simple about it but that was exactly what it was. Horses, earth, moderate climate, campfires, family…. 

“This life is so unfamiliar. I only seem to recognize a few things that still feel comforting. My crew and my ship. The rest is cold and unforgiving.” Jim knew that if he had spoke those words aloud to anyone other than The Enterprise there would be worry and questions. Things he didn’t need nor want. He hated that he felt that way but he couldn’t stop it. 

_Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot…. Whoosh._ Jim stepped onto the lift and said; “B Deck.” He hadn’t had a destination in mind. In fact he wasn’t scheduled to meet Spock for another hour. He stepped off the lift when the door slid open and moved his feet in the direction of his newly finished ready room. It had been finished the day prior and he’d only managed to see it for a moment and with no privacy. 

The door slid open as he approached and he turned into the very white room. Just like the rest of the ship, his ready room was white with a lot of glass, blue lights and a black chair behind a glass top desk. There was also a black sofa and glass coffee table and two black chairs on the opposite side of his desk. Sterile. 

Jim moved to sit in his chair and his desk lit up to show the computer screen and all it’s fascinating bells and whistles. Kirk let out a long and low whistle as if on cue. “Well, aren’t you fancy,” he told the ship and smoothed his fingers over the edge of the desk. A file appeared on the screen and he touched it. The specs that had been taken from the Narada appeared and he had to catch his breath. In all his time at Starfleet, he had never looked over the ship that had changed the reality of so many of their lives and set them down a path that was never intended for them. 

Slowly, he started looking through the specs. For a mining vessel the Narada was an amazing piece of technology. “Coffee,” Jim said absently. He meant to get up for it, but forgot and never noticed the metal arm that came out of the wall by the replicator and placed his coffee in perfect position for him to grab it. Which he did as he read further into the files containing everything that Starfleet had learned about the Narada’s technology. There was Borg technology which seemed to make their ship sentient. Also things such as the torpedo’s they used and holodecks. Things that Starfleet was trying to use and had used, including on his own Enterprise. 

Another whistle and Jim leaned back to take a long sip of his perfect coffee. “Those holodecks look like something we should be seriously looking into…” Jim’s voice trailed off as he looked around his room. “Is Starfleet against color?” he asked. The answer was slow and subtle. He watched as the walls slowly changed to a soft blue color. Jim arched a brow and sat a little straighter in his chair. He set his cup down and said: 

“How about She Wolf, Jackson Pollock…” Before he could spout off the year, a perfect print of the painting appeared on his wall, not just any wall, but the one he was looking at and wanted the painting to be on. The… exact… spot. 

“You seem to be reading my mind,” Jim said. He stood and moved to where the print was and touched the canvas. It was as if it had been painted by Pollock himself. “Beautiful,” he whispered and moved to stand in the center of the room. “What else can you do?” he asked.

“What would you like, sir?” came a very soft, sexy, androgynous voice. It seemed to also be as ambiguous as he needed. Much like the simple blue on the walls: taking into account that it was a neutral color, but something different than white. 

“Well, I didn’t expect that,” he said. Not that the ship hadn’t spoken in the past. No, that wasn’t it. It was that the ship sounded like a lover just before you touch or become intimate. The soft, sultry tones reserved for that moment just before intimacy or penetration to be more precise. He also didn’t expect the immediate and very evident reaction his body made. He flushed and felt a distinct stirring in his nether regions. He took in a deep breath through his nose and exhaled the same route. 

“Would you like more additions to your ready room, sir?” The Enterprise asked.

Jim’s breathing was definitely labored and he had to admit the sound of that voice was bringing about a certain desire to do things that he knew were just not possible. That voice was a voice he wanted to hear whispered as he slowly penetrated soft, warm flesh. He took a deep breath and moved to his chair. He stared at the cup as he sank into his seat and realized that he never actually had gone to retrieve the coffee himself. 

“Talk to me,” he said in a voice gone deep with need. 

“I listen to your voice and desire to hear it as well,” said The Enterprise. 

“Do you, now?” Jim asked. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. 

“Yes,” came the response and the lights in his ready room lowered. 

Jim’s hand slid down over his trousers and cupped his swelling cock. “Hmmm. I’m not sure what I could say to you.” 

“I like it when you call me; yours. It pleases me and makes me want to please you.”

“Really?” Jim replied as he slowly opened his trousers. There was a sound like a gasp from the ships computer and warm air seemed to engulf his cock as if a vent were aimed there. “Yes…”

“I have longed to see this. You have not touched yourself since you came back. I hope it is me that is urging you to do so,” The Enterprise said in a voice that was growing strained with need. The ship sounded so human, so real and so needy.

“Yes, it’s you,” Jim responded and started stroking himself quickly. He was eager. More so than he had been in a long time. He needed touch and to be touched. He had gone longer than he had wanted without touch, even his own. The burning in his stomach grew rapidly and shot down to draw his balls up tight to his body. It was so very obvious he had denied himself the touch of another. 

He slid his hand up his swollen shaft, smoothed the thumb over the head and dug his fingernail into the weeping slit. He loved to masturbate. Loved the silken skin spread taught over his hard shaft. He supposed that was what made him first want to explore sex with a man. He never had considered himself gay, he just liked the feel of a hard cock in his hand. He also found men were simpler in many ways. He knew how to please them and to be pleased by them in return. 

“Your body’s temperature is rising, you are close to bliss,” the voice said and the warm air around his groin grew and a breath of it brushed his ear with the words that were spoken. That was enough and Jim grunted loudly as he came in hot ribbons of white seed over the desk and his shirt. 

“Fuck…” Jim said and collapsed against his chair. He had not expected that and if anyone asked he didn’t know how he could explain it. There was no way to explain it. He had basically just masturbated to his ship. That was a new one even for him. Of all the women and men he’d slept with, all the species and yet there had never been a mechanical entity. 

He exhaled harshly and gasped in another breath. “How did that even happen?” he asked without expecting a response. 

“You seemed to need to touch yourself and I was here to help. I am always here to help.” The voice was still sultry and sounded almost breathless. 

Kirk chuckled and tucked himself back in his trousers. “I should hope so, we’re stuck together for a while now.” 

“Five years, after I am up to par.” 

“Up to par?” Jim asked with a chuckle.

“Yes, it means all systems functional. You used it in a conversation last Friday with Doctor McCoy.” The Enterprise intoned with just the slightest inflection in its voice. 

Jim arched a brow and stood, examining the mess on his shirt and the desk. “Definitely need something to clean this up,” he said almost under his breath. The ship responded with a metal arm that extended from the wall near the replicator. It was holding a wet towel and as soon as Jim took it, it produced a clean shirt as well.

“That’s handy,” he mused as he removed his soiled shirt and cleaned the desk. Jim picked up the coffee cup and looked back to where the arm still held the shirt. Smiling, he finished with the desk, then took the fresh shirt and handed the arm his soiled shirt and the towel. “That’s how my coffee got to my desk, huh?”

“Yes, sir. When you made no move to retrieve your refreshment I moved it to you.”

“So that file, you wanted me to see what the Narada was. I knew a lot of it already, but there were definitely a few things in there that were… informative.” Jim knew that a great portion of their current technology had advanced since his birth because of what the Kelvin had scanned from the Narada. The fact that the ship was sentient had him wondering about his current ship. Was The Enterprise becoming sentient?

He pulled his shirt over his head and sat back down. “Why now? Why talk to me now?”

“Because you seemed to need more than just a way to speak your thoughts. It appeared to me that you were needing a conversation. You have tried with your first officer, but your desire for him stops you from speaking your mind on what you have been dealing with.”

“What?!” Jim stood, his chair sliding back and falling over from the abrupt movement. “I do _not_ desire Spock.”

“I don’t mind so much that you do. At first I was jealous because I could not be flesh as he could be…”

“Wait a minute, you were jealous? I don’t get where all this is coming from? I mean… What the fuck am I doing?” Jim’s mind was reeling with the fact that he was having what amounted to a conversation about a relationship with a fucking ship! His ship! Suddenly he felt immensely stupid and just a bit freaked out that he had basically just masturbated to The Enterprise. 

“You know what? I need to go get something from my apartment.” Jim left so abruptly that if The Enterprise had a response it could not have uttered it because as soon as the door opened Spock was standing there and Jim ran right into the Vulcan. 

“Captain, are you alright?” Spock asked as stepped back to allow Kirk room to organize himself. He seemed a bit disheveled. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” Jim responded and looked up past the slender waist to the wider chest and… Oh for fucks sake. He was admiring Spock’s body and how it looked in the uniform. “I just need to… to go.” And with that Jim pushed past his first officer and almost left at a run. He needed off the ship, away from Spock and just to find out what the fuck was going on with him that he would have sex with a voice. A voice that belonged to The Enterprise. 

He was back to focusing on his steps and this time it was a fast; _Left, right, left, right, left, right turn, left right, left right._ All the way to the docking bay in which he exited the ship and the hangar quickly. He was halfway to the nearest pub when he realized he wasn’t heading to his apartment, he was heading to get a fucking drink. 

Jim’s mind was a mess and when he ordered a fourth whiskey, a beautiful blonde sat down beside him with a couple of shots. One for each of them. She was the most buxom woman he had ever seen. So much so that he actually thought the word buxom. Her full breasts did more than swell his libido. They made it very difficult to maintain eye contact with the very low cut blouse she wore. She reminded him of those old portraits of that famous actress from the twentieth century. Curvy, blonde, large breasts and mouth. Even her voice was sultry and dripped with honeyed sex. 

A lot of eye contact and very few words exchanged before he was fucking her like there was no tomorrow in a hotel room. He got lost in the exotic scent of her and the cries of pleasure she emitted during orgasm. He loved the sound so much that he brought her as many times as he could before reaching his own climax. 

After she fell asleep, Jim took a moment to take in the sight of her naked form sprawled on the white sheets. She was damn near perfection. He didn’t think they had exchanged names and smiled at that. It had been a long time since he’d had sex with someone he didn’t even know the name of. He kissed her shoulder and slipped out of the bed, dressed in the front room and left just before dawn. 

At his apartment, Jim showered and climbed into his own bed. It had been a long time since he’d been there and the truth was; it was nice. He slept hard and with little to no dreams. Or… none that he remembered. It was the best nights sleep he’d had since he had come back. 

It was Sunday and there would still be nobody on the ship except for Spock and of course the ship, itself. He never had been one to run from his problems. The current situation though was one that he had needed space from. He wasn’t running. He wasn’t. In fact, he was heading back. He needed to deal with a few things. One; his unnatural desire to have a repeat performance of the previous day and two; how he now couldn’t ignore that he did desire Spock. 

Back at the ship, Jim felt as if he was being watched. He knew he was. The Enterprise was watching him and he could feel that it was holding its breath, waiting for him to say something. He didn’t want to until he was with Spock though. He wanted the both of them to deal with the Ship’s new found sentience together. He still felt odd about it all and everything was more than a bit awkward, but he needed to see it through.

He headed for the bridge and once there he summoned Mr. Spock. Still the ship waited. It said nothing, but even Jim could feel the tension around him. 

“I was unaware you had returned, Captain,” Spock said upon entering the bridge. 

“Just now,” Kirk said. He was leaning against the navigation console with his arms crossed. “I have a lot to talk to you about and I’m thinking that it would be better if I just cut to the chase.” Jim smiled and gave Spock a look that sent the Vulcan’s eyebrow up beyond the line of his bangs. 

“Spock, I find you attractive and have on more than one occasion thought about trying to have sex with you. Enterprise, yesterday was confusing and I am not sure how I feel about it all in the long term, but at the moment I’m pretty turned on by it.” Jim uncrossed his arms, put his hands on the edge of the console and smiled.

“Thank you, sir. I was unsure how you would feel. I am happy to excite you.” 

Spock’s eyebrows both disappeared above his bangs and Jim enjoyed watching the changing expression on the Vulcan’s face. It was rare to see him truly express shock and dismay, but he was doing so very well. 

“Spock, I think you’re turning a little green around the gills. Does that mean your blushing?” Jim’s smile grew and he shifted just enough to produced the desired effect. He saw Spock’s eyes flicker down the line of his body before shooting back up to his face.

“If I am blushing it is only because I do not understand how you and the Enterprise managed to have what would seem to be… intercourse. As for being any shade around gills that I do not possess, it seems to be an attempt to draw some sort of reaction out of me. Since I do not possess gills I fail to understand your attempt at humor.” Spock’s body language was hard to read. He stood erect. His arms were crossed and the rest of him seemed very Spock like. 

“I was thinking you were blushing because I had admitted to wanting to have sex with you. As for the ship… It was more of a masturbation thing. I suppose you could view it as sex.” Jim was trying to get a rise out of Spock. He wanted reaction, he wanted to make Spock desire him as much as he was desired by Jim. It was like trying to get him to fight after the destruction of Vulcan only now he wanted a different reaction. He wanted him to lose control on him in a very different way. 

Jim walked to Spock, his feet moving without the usual cadence he recited in his mind. “Don’t you _feel_ it, Spock?” he asked as he stopped in front of his first officer. “There’s something between us, I have ignored it for more reasons than I can count, but I can’t any more.” 

“Captain… Jim…” Spock started and the flush deepened across his neck and ears. “I do understand what you are feeling but it is not possible. I am promised…”

“I know. I don’t want to miss an opportunity. I was dead, Spock. _Dead_. I had moved on to the next life. But now I’m here and I don’t want to let anything pass me by. It was hard for me to be here. The only thing that kept me going was my crew and, well… mainly you.” Jim put a hand out and very gently laid it on Spock’s hip. 

“This is not very wise, Captain. Fraternization among officers is frowned upon,” Spock stated.

“Enterprise, tell our first officer what happened yesterday.” Jim said, but didn’t move his eyes from Spock’s. He wanted him to see the urge he felt grow in his eyes. 

“I made my presence known to Captain Kirk yesterday while he was in his ready room. He desired color in his room and then a painting. After that we spoke and I told him how I liked his voice and desired to hear it,” the voice said and it had that same sultry pitch to its tone that it had the previous day. 

“You can not desire anything, you are not sentient,” Spock said. 

In response Jim squeezed his thigh and shook his head. “Listen.” 

“I told him how it brought me pleasure when he called me his. I enjoy this. And then I watched him open his trousers. His penis is lovely and the way he gripped it…” A long pleasure filled sigh sounded and Spock felt his pulse quicken. Jim was holding his hip like it was anchoring him to this world. 

“He slowly started stroking himself and I watched and aided in bringing him to climax.”

“Aided?” Spock asked and cleared his throat. His hand moved to Jim’s hip in mirror of his Captain without his knowledge. It moved of its own volition and once there he couldn’t stop the grip he formed. 

“I used one of the vents to warm the air around his shaft as he stroked himself,” The Enterprise answered. “I could aid you both now, if you like.” 

“How?” Spock asked before Jim could. The fact that he did brought a dangerous heat to his eyes as he watched a knowledge bloom in his Captain’s eyes. He knew that he would get what he wanted. 

“I could speak to you while you take him, heat the air around you both, vibrate furniture… Anything you wish.” The voice sounded breathless and it brought a rough intake of air to both Jim and Spock. 

“For now, simply watch and if there is a thing you would like me to do, I will attempt to be coherent enough to acquiesce. I make no guarantees.” Spock was losing that part of his mind that allowed him to think logically. He had been having so much trouble controlling his emotions, especially where Jim was concerned. He could not do it any longer. 

Suddenly Spock’s grip on Jim’s hip was painful as it yanked him against him roughly. He pulled a pained groan from Jim just before he crushed his mouth to his. There was no gentle play of lips or swipes of tongues, no, Spock’s tongue forced its way into Jim’s mouth. He had to either open to the invading tongue or chance bruising or splitting his lip on his teeth. He opened for him. The tongue thrust into him and pulled back to thrust again. 

Jim’s body responded instantly. He hardened painfully within his trousers and tried to move both his hands to hold Spock’s back but cried out when Spock broke the kiss and captured his wrists in his hands. He pulled his hands behind him and held them both in one hand. 

“Touch him,” came The Enterprise’s voice in a breathless wash. 

Spock had to control himself. He could hurt Jim very easily especially when he could see that there was nothing he would say no to. Nothing. He was his. 

“Touch me,” Jim echoed. He was on fire. His body burning from the inside out. He couldn’t have hoped for what was happening and only his dreams were witness to what he had wanted. Reality was so much better. 

Spock’s hand shook as he reached down to cup Jim over his trousers. He found him swollen to what must have been painful in the confines of his trousers. At that moment was when he realized that he too was painfully erect. As gently as he could manage he slid his hand along the long, thick shaft. There were words he wanted to speak but all that came out was a low possessive growl. 

Jim felt his knees weaken at the growl. He felt like a damn girl for that but he definitely felt that way. He had never felt that way and truth was he wasn’t entirely sure he had ever wanted to in the past. At that moment though, he thought he would bend over like a wanton thing and beg for Spock if he growled like that again.

“I do not trust myself with such tender things in my grasp for too long, Jim. Not this time,” Spock said. His voice was definitely different. Different in a way he had never heard before. He sounded near feral. That sound brought an odd sound from Jim. It was near a whimper and with that sound it seemed that something snapped.

Spock let go of Jim abruptly and flipped him around. He pressed him into the nearest surface. “I am sorry if I hurt you, it is not my intention…”

“Spock, shut up and fuck me,” Jim said and ripped at the front of his trousers. 

Spock did the same, one hand was pressed firmly into Jim’s back holding him down while the other was working open his uniform trousers. 

“Enterprise, lubrication.” Jim said rather breathlessly as he shoved his trousers down and managed to only get one leg free. 

“I would not have attempted this…” Spock started but was stopped by the Enterprise’s voice. 

“I have already placed it to your right,” she said in that androgynous voice of hers. 

Without another word, Spock opened the bottle, squeezed some in his hand and pressed one; long, slender digit fully inside of his captain. Kirk moaned and eagerly pressed back against the invading digit. It wasn’t his first time, but he imagined it would be better than any he had had before. 

The finger wiggled inside of him causing precome to leak from his cock. All sound was lost as another finger was added and just as quickly shoved all the way inside of him. It worked him open, slammed into him and assaulted his prostate. Jim was lost to the sensations he was feeling. His mind only seemed able to focus on what Spock was doing to him. Somewhere he heard a voice tell Spock to add another finger and suddenly there was so much more inside of him.

Jim groaned, pressed back and suddenly a burst of pleasure brought a stream of precome from his neglected cock. He reached for himself, but his hand was batted away and suddenly everything was gone. His opened hole was empty, his hands untouched and a loud ringing was in his ears. 

It felt like ages as Spock slicked the lubrication over his prick. He was taking his time so he would not hurt Jim. But looking at his ass, open and inviting he was having difficulty trying to hold himself back. Another whimpered plea and a sway of his ass had Spock moving. He placed his prick at Jim’s entrance and pushed himself inside of him.

Tight heat engulfed and threatened to strangle his prick. His body shook as he tried to slowly inch himself in. Then… Jim shoved himself back and caused his prick to thrust fully inside of him. Heat burned him from within and all he could think was claiming. Claiming Jim as his. Mark him. Make him take him and beg for more. 

Jim actually screamed as Spock tore into his body. He was sure he had torn but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was being claimed in a way he had only imagined was possible. Each thrust shoved into his end and slid along his prostate. The world went out of focus and Jim merely melted into his lover’s thrusts.

Warmth covered his exposed prick and Kirk felt as if something was stroking him but he couldn’t see anything, only feel it. It was so hot and suddenly his ass clenched tight, Spock growled, Kirk screamed and came suddenly and almost painfully. Spock fought to keep up some sort of rough rhythm, but was lost when his own orgasm was ripped from him. They both screamed and that was all that could be heard over the rough slapping of their bodies meeting. 

With one final thrust Spock held himself fully embedded inside of Jim and they both shivered through the final shocks of their orgasms. They held like that as long as their bodies would allow and finally Spock pulled slowly out of Jim. They both groaned and slid to the floor. Spock kept Jim in his arms. 

“I fear we have opened a door that will not easily close,” Spock said. 

“Stop,” Jim responded and turned his head as best he could to see his friend and lover. “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just be happy with now.” 

“I am happy,” Spock said. He understood what Jim meant and knew that they would never be allowed to stay together. His own genetics would not allow it. Until he had to leave though, he would stay. Yes, he would stay and enjoy what he could, while he could.

“As am I,” said the Enterprise in a sated tone. 

“We should…” Spock started.

“Let it go. Live in the now.” Jim pushed against Spock which elicited a groan. 

“Now is good,” Spock said and kissed Jim’s neck.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are love and comments are awesome love.


End file.
